In a perfect world, both halves of a couple share the same investment goals and agree on the best way to try to reach them. It doesn’t always work that way, though; disagreements about money are often a source of friction between couples. You may be risk averse, while your spouse may be comfortable investing more aggressively–or vice versa. How can you bridge that gap?
Making good investment decisions is difficult if you don’t know what you’re investing for. Make sure you’re on the same page–or at least reading from the same book–when it comes to financial goal-setting. Knowing where you’re headed is the first step toward developing a road map for dealing jointly with investments.
In some cases you may have the same goals, but put a different priority on each one or have two different time frames for a specific goal. For example, your spouse may want to retire as soon as possible, while you’re anxious to accept a new job that means advancement in your career, even if it means staying put or moving later. Coming to a general agreement on what your priorities are and roughly when you hope to achieve each one can greatly simplify the process of deciding how to invest.
Making sure both spouses know how and (equally important) why their money is invested in a certain way can help minimize marital blowback if investment choices don’t work out as anticipated. Second-guessing rarely improves any relationship. Making sure that both partners understand from the beginning why an investment was chosen, as well as its risks and potential rewards, may help moderate the impulse to say “I told you so” later.
Investing doesn’t have to be either/or. A diversified portfolio should have a place for both conservative and more aggressive investments. Though diversification and asset allocation can’t guarantee a profit or ensure against a loss, they are ways to manage the type and level of risk you face–including the risks involved in bickering with your spouse.
Aside from attempting to minimize marital strife, there’s another good reason to make sure both spouses understand how their money is invested and why. If only one person makes all the decisions–even if that person is the more experienced investor–what if something were to happen to that individual? The other spouse might have to make decisions at a very vulnerable time–decisions that could have long-term consequences.
If you’re the less experienced investor, take the responsibility for making sure you have at least a basic understanding of how your resources are invested. If you’re suddenly the one responsible for all decisions, you should at least know enough to protect yourself from fraud and/or work effectively with a financial professional to manage your money.
You could consider investing a certain percentage of your combined resources aggressively, an equal percentage conservatively, and a third percentage in a middle-ground choice. This would give each partner equal input and control of the decision-making process, even if one has a larger balance in his or her individual account.
Another approach is to use separate asset allocations to balance competing interests. If both spouses have workplace retirement plans, the risk taker could invest the largest portion of his or her plan in an aggressive choice and put a smaller portion in an option with which a spouse is comfortable. The conservative partner would invest the bulk of his or her money in a relatively conservative choice and put a smaller piece in a more aggressive selection on which you both agree.
Or you could divide responsibility for specific goals. For example, the more conservative half could be responsible for the money that’s being saved for a house down payment in five years. The other partner could take charge of longer-term goals that may benefit from taking greater risk in pursuit of potentially higher returns. You also could consider setting a predetermined limit on how much the risk taker can put into riskier investments.
Finally, a neutral third party with some expertise and a dispassionate view of the situation may be able to help work through differences.
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